This will change your life- Are you an Asker or a Guesser?
photo credit: ϟnapshot 19
…We are raised, the theory runs, in one of two cultures. In Ask culture, people grow up believing they can ask for anything – a favour, a pay rise– fully realising the answer may be no. In Guess culture, by contrast, you avoid “putting a request into words unless you’re pretty sure the answer will be yes… A key skill is putting out delicate feelers. If you do this with enough subtlety, you won’t have to make the request directly; you’ll get an offer. Even then, the offer may be genuine or pro forma; it takes yet more skill and delicacy to discern whether you should accept.”
Neither’s “wrong”, but when an Asker meets a Guesser, unpleasantness results.
An Asker won’t think it’s rude to request two weeks in your spare room, but a Guess culture person will hear it as presumptuous and resent the agony involved in saying no. Your boss, asking for a project to be finished early, may be an overdemanding boor – or just an Asker, who’s assuming you might decline. If you’re a Guesser, you’ll hear it as an expectation. This is a spectrum, not a dichotomy, and it explains cross-cultural awkwardnesses, too: Brits and Americans get discombobulated doing business in Japan, because it’s a Guess culture, yet experience Russians as rude, because they’re diehard Askers.
Self-help seeks to make us all Askers, training us to both ask and refuse with relish…
~ Full Article by Guardian.
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Written by Arsene: Hey, I'm Arsène. To sum everything up briefly I'm a krump dancer/teacher, mixed-media artiste, social media manager, writer, ex-ubervegan, ex-polyphasic sleeper, and a genocide survivor (yes, that's the brief version). If you must label me, call me "fool" or "revolutionary". I don't mind, I've been called both countless times. Find me working on my current project over at Quotes-Clothing.com <--- Quotes can change the world. |
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